Why bad things happen.

My mother has this theory that everything always happens the way it’s supposed to, and nothing ever happens that wasn’t going to happen anyway. It sounds a lot like Fate, and it probably is, but I don’t think she sees it that way. The problem I’ve always had with pre-deterministic notions (like Fate) is that they take the burden off you to be proactive about your circumstances. I always felt that people thought ‘since it’s going to happen anyway, why bother?’ But that’s not always true.

I guess what I take away from my mother’s reasoning is that our actions don’t always dictate the outcome, and that sometimes there’s nothing we can do to change things. It’s a comforting way of looking at the universe; it shifts responsibility from our shoulders to the vague overseer that is Fate, or the Cosmos, or whatever God you believe in.

And for the most part, I agree. I firmly believe the universe is unfolding as it should. But sometimes I wish the universe would unfold a little more ideally. A little more in keeping with what’s best for me.

I should have had an Anatomy class on Sunday (Sunday classes, wtf) but it was cancelled, and for various reasons I and two other people were the last to find out. And by last to find out, I mean we were already on campus when we got the news.

So maybe that was a bad thing: I had to spend money I didn’t have on transportation and I missed out on a gig with my dance company. And I could have sulked about it, cursed about it and gone home.

But instead we had our own practical session. We had the lab and cadavers to ourselves (not to mention several textbooks), and for nearly two hours we studied and taught each other arteries and ligaments and foramina. It turned out to be a great session.

I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe there are no bad things. Just endings and beginnings and passageways. Stenoses, diverticula and fistulae. If everything happens the way it’s supposed to happen, then maybe it’s all just perspective.

I like the mystery of an uncharted horizon. And boats.

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