The word certain looks weird now. Cer-ta-in.

I am one of those people from a lower-middle class background who is going to grow up to be shamelessly uptown. I like nice things that happen to be expensive, I want to talk a certain way and I only want to spend my time at certain places. And I want my kids to grow up privileged. But not too privileged.

Like when someone gets mad at their mother for having to eat chevon (fancy word for goat meat) three days in a row and then their helper fries fish and bammies just to make them happy.

Or when they complain about said helper being sent to stay with their brother who lives abroad and they can’t possibly survive without her because WHO WILL OPEN THE FRONT GATE NOW?

Or when they sound a little too proud about not being able to use a washing machine.

Or if having to do their own laundry in university is a deciding factor in which career path to take.

And god forbid my future fourteen year old tells me she wants a belly-button ring.

Bella Blair from Youtube does a hilarious segment called ‘Things Upper St. Andrew Women Say‘. After L and I recovered from our fits of laughter, we realized we were probably going to end up doing exactly the same things.

Except any teenager of mine who wants a belly-button ring is going to get some North Coast discipline.

5 thoughts on “The word certain looks weird now. Cer-ta-in.

  1. Jodi says:

    please tell me real people don’t say crap like that, from the goat meat bit to the belly button part. Then again, I have heard of the TGIF crowd, 12 year olds walking around with cell phones that, if sold, could greatly dent the cost of one’s tuition.

    And you changed the blog :(


    1. All of it I heard in real life, except the belly button bit which I got from the parody video I mentioned in the post. Who knows? Maybe kids actually do say things like that.

      Ugh, I’ve seen the TGIF crowd in action on Halloween night. I’m so worried about our future.


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