I went to buy a phone once at a legitimate Lime dealer (maybe it’s the legit stores I need to watch out for, hmm). When I’d found the phone I wanted, I went to ask about it. Then they told me I’d need some form of identification. Flabbergasted, I asked if my university ID would work. No. They needed national ID, like a passport or a driver’s license. Now, the government hasn’t yet decided to let me loose on the streets of Jamaica (wise decision) and my mother is hardly likely to let me walk around with my (expensive) passport just to buy a phone.

So I asked them half-outraged, why they needed ID anyway. The lady shrugged and muttered something about the government. The guy standing with her had been watching me and he spoke up. How old are you anyway? Nineteen, I replied, resisting the urge to add ‘but I’m old for my age’. He snorted. Try fourteen next time.

My boyfriend was the only one who cracked up.