I’m not going to talk about Olympics or Usain Bolt or him coming second to Blake or his alleged ankle injury or his propensity for crashing cars and strip clubs.

I’m not going to talk about the ongoing Jamaica 50 controversy or Lisa Hannah or official songs or how politics really have no place in the music industry.

And I’m not going to rant about the recent uproar in Parliament or what kind of examples the politicians are setting or the homophobia that is so deeply ingrained in this country we don’t even notice it any more. Or the colour orange. Or trumpets.

I’d rather leave those things to the serious bloggers like Mr. Veritas or the clever ones like Carla Moore. And because everyone is already talking those topics into the ground so that they’re already almost-clichéd.

I may however, in the future, rant about the hilarity that is Lime vs. Digicel and how I’m being ripped off with this ridiculous new plan.


Mortal Kombat: Lime vs. Digicel

If you don’t already know, Lime and Digicel are the leading network/communications providers on this island. They’re somewhat mismatched rivals, with Lime taking the part of tenacious old-timer and Digicel as the upstart youth.

The fact that I have a phone with the Lime network when most people I know own a Digicel is lamented by all my friends. It’s so much more expensive to call cross-network, and then they can’t text me with their Digicel-only free texts. This is the only reason most people here have three two (Digicel recently bought out Claro) phones.

Usually the networks are in pretty close competition but lately Digicel has been turning up the heat, forcing Lime to step up or step off. Digicel introduced their Gimme 5 promotion, Lime came up with Fave 5 mobile plan. Digicel has bombarded its customers with attractive deals – free calls after 9pm with prepaid calling credit topups of $200 or more; easy ways to check your prepaid credit balance, send credit and even request that credit be sent to you. Lime has been dragging its feet in offering anything remotely similar. The result has been a mass and steady exodus of one-time Lime customers to the newer, hotter Digicel brand, perhaps made even worse by Digicel’s new super-low cross network rate.

That cartoon got it wrong, then. After being the telecommunications Goliath for so many years, Lime is probably about to be slain by their very own David. Attached as I am to my network, this dilemma is all their own doing. They monopolized the Jamaican communications industry for years, barely changing their MO when Digicel appeared on the scene as saviour to the mobile-owning pubic. And now when healthy competition should foster innovation they are letting themselves stagnate, consistently losing business by staying three steps behind their shark-paced rival. Perhaps Lime is content with its loyal clientèle – they’re certainly rich enough to be – but at the rate they’re going I don’t see them reclaiming the Jamaican market any time soon. But I hear they’re big in Trinidad.