It doesn’t bother me that I live in a country whose values I don’t subscribe to, where we pray before every meeting and not going to church is akin to being a Satanist. Growing up here means I have to put up and shut up, and for the most part I do (because I like Gospel music, and ‘fellowship’ is just a fancy word for ‘socialize’). But I feel like some clarification is necessary.

I am not a Christian.

There, I said it. I don’t have to go to your churches, listen to your prayers or talk about your God. I do these things because despite my inherent evilness in not being a Christian, I actually like it. I will poke fun at Christians and Christianity and religion in general because I think everyone should be able to laugh at themselves, especially me. I’m never 100% sure what I believe in (except fairies!) so every time you ask, you will likely get a different answer. Last year I was agnostic. This year I am a Pantheist. Not being a Christian is not synonymous with atheism. I have never been (and will never be) an atheist, simply because I don’t put that much effort into ascertaining the existence of this God-concept. My God is not your God, but that does not make your God better than mine – what is this, primary school? Nor does it give you the right to tell me with dripping condescension that your God loves me anyway. I will probably laugh.

I’m not by nature a mean person, but when provoked to wrath by the all-too-frequent insensitivity of well-meaning Christians, I will don my anti-proselytizing shield and fight dirty. It’s tolerance or gtfo. Why is there such a big deal about who I mean when I say God anyway? I’m sure he/she/it doesn’t care what I call him/her/it.

Pax.